REBIRTH

i was running through the mall at almost light speed. not quite light speed that’s an exaggeration but it was quite fast. and i kept running into closed doors and i was trapped. beige walls and lots of nothingness. the mall is dark now. it really just feels so loud and i’m not sure how… Continue reading

the hard thing about being bipolar and depressed, like actually, is determining what is legitimate and what’s not. i mean i can sit here and logic myself out of feeling most things but sexual attraction is not one. unfortunately. neither is romantic attraction. furthermore, processing these feelings has become harder because i just don’t know… Continue reading

there is nothing that makes me feel stranger and more alienated from my peers than the subject of sex and love. i’ve received plenty of adoration, admiration, and all of the things that go with it: niceties and abuse alike. i hate to self loathe but i suppose this is what i come here for.… Continue reading

this entire past week has been everyone in my life absolutely dumping all of their emotional weight on me. all kinds of things: breakups, death, sickness, finances. it doesn’t end. i get it i guess. when i wanted to dump on someone, no one was really there and that sucked. maybe the universe made me… Continue reading

i find myself at the loneliest place i’ve ever been in. it’s different this time because i’m an adult. a real one. sort of. i consider death and what it would be like or how it would feel. i find joy in small things. i don’t even feel depressed. maybe that’s a side effect of… Continue reading